Introduction

Facts

Any abuse involving violence or physical harm or threat of violence or physical harm is a crime, even when the victim is a spouse.

Domestic abuse happens in relationships of all ages, socioeconomic groups, ethnic groups, cultures, and sexual orientations.

Domestic abuse is defined by the victim's perception, not the perpetrator's excuses.

No one asks for or deserves the abuse directed towards them.

Victims of spouse abuse are predominately women.

Individuals stay in abusive relationships for a variety of reasons including:

	lack of economic resources,
	fear for the children,
	lack of awareness of the shelters and programs available,
	love for partner (not the abuse),
	family members, encouragement,
	religious values,
	FEAR of the perpetrator-the primary reason why most stay or go back.
	Abuse may frequently include forms of isolation form the outside world resulting in limited personal freedom and accessibility to resources.

Over time, abuse tends to escalate in severity and frequency.

It may take several violent events before a spouse is ready to leave the abuser permanently.

Violence often increases after separation of parties.

With time and support from outside sources concerning domestic abuse, many eventually decide to leave, and safely act upon that decision.

Often the perpetrator will act one way tin public and in an abusive way in private. It is often difficult for an non-family member to imagine the perpetration as abusive.

Definitions of Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is the systematic pattern of physical, sexual and emotional or psychological abusive behaviors used in a relationship by one partner to control another.

Physical Abuse

Physical abuse is usually recurrent and escalates in severity and frequency. Many times, domestic violence in the form of physical abuse IS A CRIME. It may include, but is not limited to the following:

	Pushing, shoving, slapping, punching, kicking, biting, choking, throwing things at the victim, hitting with weapons or objects, shooting, stabbing, fingers in the nose, boxing the ears
	Threatening to hit with weapons or objects
	Holding, typing down, or restraining
	Abandonment in a dangerous place
	Neglect, refusing to help when the victim is hurt or sick
	Not letting the victim eat or sleep

Emotional or Psychological Abuse

Emotional or psychological abuse may precede or accompany physical abuse as a way of gaining control of the victim through fear and intimidation. It may include, but is not limited to, the following:

	Threats of harm to self, children, or other family members
	Physical or social isolation, i.e., denying access to family support or choosing with whom the victim may associate
	Extreme jealousy or possessiveness
	Repetitive degradation
	False accusations, consistently blaming the victim for everything
	Lying, breaking promises, destroying trust
	"Mind games", i.e., insisting something is one way when it really is another
	Driving fast or recklessly to frighten or intimidate.

Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuse may also exist within an abusive relationship. This may be extremely difficulty to discuss because of embarrassment, or religious or cultural attitudes toward sex. It is important to build a foundation of trust with the victim and to allow her to discuss the situation on her own terms and at her own pace. It may include, but is not limited to, the following:

	Force or threat of force to perform any sexual act against her will
	Infliction of pain during sexual intercourse
	Limiting reproductive freedom including use of birth control
	Sexual harassment
	Calling of sexually derogatory names