By John C. Turpin © 1991 Covenant Communications, Inc.

Some ways of living produce less stress than others. One method of stress-reduction, originally developed by C. Kay Allen in Denver, Colorado, teaches people to choose to live in the highest of three levels of reality The three levels are: Fear/Anxiety; the lowest, most stressful level; Duty/Justice, the middle level; and Love/Trust, the highest, least stressful level.
        The level of reality you choose influences your stress level. The lowest level, or life style, is the Fear/Anxiety level. You do things at the lowest level because you are afraid not to, and fear is stress-producing. The Duty/Justice level of reality is characterized by attitudes which emphasize duty. You do things at this level out of obligation. The highest or Love/Trust level is characterized by a clear self-understanding and self-acceptance as well as love and concern for others. You do things at this level because you want to.

The Fear/Anxiety Level of Reality
        We all experience the Fear/Anxiety level on occasion, but some people spend much of their lives there. At that level life is dominated by negative feelings such as fear, anxiety, inadequacy, loneliness, alienation and hostility. A person on this level is fearful, suspicious, and anxious in personal relationships. The world is often seen as unfriendly, each day as a trial, and new experiences as threatening. Feelings are either denied, stuffed, or turned into negative behaviors that provoke rejection from others. Life is often painful, for relating to others consists of trying to manipulate and control them. A common behavior at this level would be attempting to drag others down to that same level.
        At the Fear/Anxiety level, if you serve, it is because you are afraid of the social consequences of not serving. Your main concern is for yourself.
        Fortunately, few people at the Fear/Anxiety level want to stay there, and when given an understanding of how to live at a higher level, most choose to do so. Of course we all drop back down to the Fear/Anxiety level occasionally. But the more aware of it we are, the more quickly we can pull ourselves out of it.

The Duty/Justice Level of Reality
        A higher level of reacting is the Duty/Justice level of reality with its basic motivation to do things because you “ ought to." Life can be much more pleasant than it is on the Fear/Anxiety level. At this level, you do what is expected and think others should do the same.
        Relationships are important to Duty/Justice people. They provide well for their children, and expect them to obey, respect authority, and be dutiful children. They are dependable, good workers, but their lives seem to be guided too much by willpower.
        A Duty/Justice person can be a productive employee, responsible parent, law-abiding citizen, and trustworthy person. They can also be a good member of the Church, but they serve out of a sense of duty. They often serve to be noticed and may become resentful to the point of inactivity when they are not recognized.
        A Duty/Justice person may have a passive/aggressive personality. Passive/aggressive refers to a person who can be too nice at first, but when things don't go his way, he jumps to the other extreme and becomes hostile or blaming.
        A major attribute of the Duty/Justice person is the tendency to focus so much on a task that the needs of others (and even personal needs) take a secondary position. A task-oriented, compulsively “driven" person will get the job done even at the expense of the feelings of others. Unpredictable in relationships, he generates fear. Others never know when the unpleasantness will suddenly surface, for the Duty/Justice person often flip-flops from being pleasant to being task-orientated, inflexible, dogmatic, and uncommunicative.
        All this duty drains the warmth from relationships. The Duty/Justice person finds it hard to relax and unwind, so stress often remains at higher levels. Because the opinion of others is vitally important to a Duty/Justice person, even a vacation may be taken with the goal of impressing someone else. This person may work too hard and worry about his job day and night rather than learn to enjoy all aspects of his life. A mainstay attitude of people on this level is the inappropriate belief that performance defines worth. A Duty/Justice person loses the ability to detach, lacks sufficient flexibility, and loses his sense of humor. His life can become routine, constricted, and dull.

The Love/Trust Level of Reality
        Love/Trust people do things because they want to. Their self-confidence stems from a deep sense of worth that is not based on performance. They experience both the benefits and struggles of relating to others. They do not expect a life of bliss and wonderful relationships with everyone, and are not disillusioned when life is hard. They do their part to have good relationships because they know it is worth it for everyone concerned. They know how to “let go" of work when they come home and can relax and enjoy life. They have a good sense of humor. They give love, casting their bread upon the waters, and it does come back many fold.
        They view others as equally important no matter what their race, religion, nationality, sex, political affiliation, mistakes, or sins.
        They know their strengths, but mirror David 0. McKay's attitude that, "Self-reliance is a virtue, but with it should come the realization of the need for a higher power. They have learned through their relationship with the Lord that inner feelings are reliable, for they listen to their own feelings and to the Spirit.
        The Love/Trust person is strong. He can be tough with people and does not allow others to control or abuse him; nor does he have any desire to control others.
        He allows others to accept the consequences of their own behavior, but continues to love them no matter what they do. He has control over his own life in the ways that really matter.

Growing to a Higher Level
        Everyone is fearful and anxious at times and everyone is on the Duty/Justice level at times, but that does not mean a person must stay there or is locked in at either of those levels. Conversely; while the Love/Trust level can be a constant goal, it is important to understand that no one stays on the Love/Trust level all the time-that would be perfection.
        One's motivation reflects his level of reality. For instance, If you give $1,000 to a charity, you can do so because (1) you are afraid not to, (2) you feel the government will get it if you don't (3) you desire to tell others about it to look good, or (4) because of a genuine desire to help other equal but needy human beings.
        The gospel teaches that you can be at a lower level, repent, turn from fear to love, and grow to a higher level. Won't some who are now on the Fear/Anxiety level eventually enter the celestial kingdom? Yes they will! Each person can eventually become a Love/Trust person.
        Being on the Love/Trust level provides an anchor to the soul for "whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God." (Ether 12:4.)   

6/14/00 rdh