We have been gratified with the warm acceptance Counseling: A Guide to
Helping Others,Volume 2. has received. It is evident that it has filled a
need for information among individuals who do lay counseling. Professionals,
too, have expressed confidence in its usefulness. And many readers have used it
as a self-help manual.
Even before we sent the first volume to Deseret Book for editing and
publication, we were aware of a number of significant omissions. Before the
volume was in print we began inviting potential authors to write the chapters
that are included in this book. We have maintained the same editorial philosophy
in this volume as in volume 1. It is not necessary to read volume 1 to benefit
from the chapters contained herein. Each chapter is independent of all others.
You may begin reading in any chapter and gain from the experience.
Each chapter is written by a Latter-day Saint scholar or therapist who is
thoroughly familiar with his subject. We have made every effort to eliminate
jargon and specialized words. Our goal has been to present up-to-date
professional concepts in lay terms. We believe that knowledge is a blessing and
that it contributes to inspiration.
Because all of our authors are committed Latter-day Saints, these books
reflect certain assumptions regarding the nature of man and his ability to
change that similar secular books do not. We believe that people have the
ability to determine their own mental attitudes, and that they have the
power within them to change, to grow, to seek, and to find those ideas and
patterns of behavior that can bring peace and happiness. The counselor, trained
or lay, can only suggest and encourage and set the appropriate example. People
themselves must create the mental, spiritual, and physical environments that can
bring them to the level of joy and the absence of remorse that they desire.
Happiness is difficult to define. Some people see it more as the absence of
negative things than as a positive state of being. But joy and happiness can
also be seen in a positive sense, of having appropriate attitudes toward life
and of enjoying life's experiences as they occur.
Happy people have many attitudes that set them apart from unhappy people.
That people should keep the Lord's commandments and repent of their sins is
fundamental to being happy. Three attitudes are especially pertinent:
1. Recognize that life includes opposition and difficulty. People must mature
to the point where they are not unduly surprised at accidents, pain, sickness,
and other difficulties. They must realize that they were not put here on earth
to spend their time in everlasting comfort. Life is a place for gaining
experience, and some of the most valuable experience is the difficult kind.
2. Recognize that life is uncertain. There is no other way to live it and
still have the blessing of agency. We must walk by faith. We do not know from
one moment to the next whether we will live or die, or if our loved ones will
remain with us. We cannot know whether the world will be blown away, and we
cannot know if our investments will remain sound. Happy people recognize these
facts of life and go on anyway.
3. Recognize that life includes injustice and unfairness. The Savior promised
us peace if we embrace his gospel, but he did not assure us that this life will
always be fair. It is not fair because the Lord has turned us over to ourselves
and other humans and to the elements of a mortal world. Good men and women
sometimes get sick and have serious accidents. Good men and women are sometimes
defrauded by
dishonest people. And good men and women sometimes see their children fall
away from activity in the Church. It is not fair, we say. Nobody who understands
this life and the gospel ever said it would be.
Happy people recognize that life is difficult, uncertain, and unfair. But
they do not take offense. Having confronted these realities, they go on their
way living life fully. Because they know the realities of life and have resolved
the difficult issues, they are free to help others instead of brooding about
their own problems. Happy people invariably give of themselves in the service of
others.
As editors we express gratitude to a group of happy people, the authors who
so generously contributed the* time, talents, knowledge, and training to these
books. We realize that their contributions have been made in a spirit of service
to the members of the Church and also as a manifestation of personal friendship
to us. The authors have done a great service for those among us who are troubled
and who seek sound direction for their lives.
We also thank the many fine people who have worked with us at Deseret Book.
We extend special gratitude to Jack Lyon, who edited these volumes. He has
handled his labors with competence, skill, and a warm spirit. We also thank the
word-processing technicians who have processed parts of these manuscripts,
especially those who serve in the Faculty Support Center of the College of
Family, Home, and Social Sciences at Brigham Young University. Finally, we again
thank our wives and families who have encouraged and supported our efforts.
As with volume 1, the contents of the various chapters are the thoughts and
contributions of the various authors, but we would not have included them if we
did not agree with their contents.
