1) Tell yourself that now is not forever. Suicidal thoughts usually only last a short while (minutes or hours). Commit to never harming yourself while in this temporary state. It will pass.

2) Buy yourself some time. Allow yourself a promise to “sleep on it! ”Chances are your perception will change with rest, time, and being away from the problem.

3) Remember the first step to coping is to choose life, not death. Choosing life you will search for all the possible options and solutions. There are thousands! By choosing death, you choose but one fatal and irreversible act.

4) Suicide doesn't take away pain, it only causes more pain in the world.

5) Living, not dying, takes courage.

6) Talk to someone about what's causing your pain. Share the load and it will relieve the pain and burden.

7) There may be no release from being -- only from life. Might your soul continue on with the same burdens even in death?

8) How about the people you would leave behind? Do you know they may be angry with you forever for such a selfish act? Can you understand the suffering they will feel because of your death? If you want to punish them by killing yourself it will definitely work.

9) There are always options that lie somewhere between life and death.

10) Make a decision today for the rest of your life that no matter what, you will not take your own life. It relieves you of having suicide be an option when you are jammed.

11) Perhaps your great ally is that there is always someone who cares about you. At school, church, a relative or friend? Reach out and tell that person what you are feeling and contemplating.

12) You may feel angry about things in your life. Take a long walk each time you feel like exploding physically or emotionally.

13) If you're using alcohol or drugs they will increase your despair. Give them up for two weeks, or until you are through with the crisis. They alter your rational state and weaken your resistance.

14) Decide to live at least one more day. You probably can't feel much worse than you do now and will likely feel at least a little better tomorrow.

15) Make a commitment to one short term goal or activity. How about visiting with a friend, finishing a school assignment, cleaning your room, going to a flick?

16) No one really wants to die -- they just don't know how to go on living right now. Write down this very statement and hand it to someone you trust.

17) Sit down and write out every last feeling you have inside. Writing helps you “get out of your head" and transfers the load onto paper. Write as long as needed and with each time you feel upset.

18) Life is all about gaining problem solving skills. You simply haven't lived enough of life yet to have those skills.

19) Do you know that it's normal and even healthy to feel unhappy at times? If you can see your present suffering as transient and normal it will give you ability to cope with predictable future conflicts.

20) No argument -- adolescence can be painful. Like a roller coaster, you may have to ride it out. It may not be fun, but it will stop.

21) What is your circle of influence (what you can influence for good), vs. your circle of concern (what you are worried about)? Put the concerns aside for right now and do what you do well.

22) Go about your normal daily activities.

23) "Sorrow is not forever. Love is." -MD Hughes- 

24) No, God isn't punishing you and he doesn't hate you. Sometimes, he allows nature to do its thing. If you decide to die, although He could He probably won't stop you.

25) Tape your feelings on a cassette recorder. Then listen to yourself. It may scare you into choosing life and seeking help or activity.

26) The best antidote to despair is activity. Lose yourself in something that can fill or replace your void.

27) How well have you done with life? What have been your small and large successes? Don't focus on your failures, but look at your strengths and success.

28) Yell "stop" to those negative thoughts. Stop them from controlling you. They can possess you unless you shut them out.

29) Your future is an unknown. If you die you won't be around to experience the rewards, Christmas, food, marriage, career, sports, etc. Life can be enjoyable!

30) Why do you think you can quit life and the rest of us have to work it out? Life comes one day at a time and needs to be faced one day at a time.

31) From a parent of two teenage girls who killed themselves in New Jersey, "If Cheryl and Lisa could speak to us now after having met Jesus face to face in death, they would say the same thing--suicide is not the way to peace, happiness, and love. And to believe it is to believe in a lie. Instead, Cheryl and Lisa would proclaim the truth -- they would tell us to choose life."

32) Ride it out, take what comes.

33) We all live life in the same manner -- one day at a time and one day after another, until we learn to do this thing called life.

34) If it's too hard to be honest with a trusted person about your thoughts of killing yourself, at least drop a lot of hints. Someone will catch on if you keep giving signals.

35) OK, so you feel there is no possible way of solving your problem(s) right now, you owe it to yourself and those who love you to answer these issues:
a) Whom have I told?
b) Whom can I tell?
c) Am I totally responsible for the problems I have? Who else is at fault? Why not get mad at him/her instead? How about confronting them -- getting it off my chest?

36) Think about attending your own funeral. What will people say about you? Are they crying? Will you hear praise you were not aware of? Can it be possible that some people truly do love you and will suffer perhaps forever, and that you are more competent than you think?

37) If you need more attention, time, love etc., how about making your needs known. Say it plain -- "Hey, Dad I need more time with you," or "Mom, I need a better relationship with you. I promise to stop acting-out if you promise to stop being so angry with me."

38) Do you know that you probably make it almost impossible for people to know your true needs and feelings because what they see from you is anger, avoidance, sadness, negativism, getting into trouble? How can they direct you if you're not being honest with your needs and feelings? Your relationships with others will be miserable for a lifetime if you're not mature in your approach. Don't play games. Say and do it straight, responsibly, and positively.

39) Look in the obituary section of the newspaper. Find the obituary of the person nearest your age. Go to the funeral viewing (it's usually the night before the funeral. If someone asks who you are, say you were an acquaintance. Watch the mourners. What are they saying? What are they feeling? Are children present? Does the dead person look peaceful? If the mood is upbeat, that's not going to look like your viewing. People will be terrorized, crying, asking why, feeling guilty, being angry with you, feeling ashamed, hurt. Your death won't be "a blessing." Your death will be pure hell for those who loved you.

40) Envision yourself dead. Do you look glorious, pure, white? Are you happy now? Or are you the same person in a different setting with the same soul needs? Does death release you from what you feel, from who you are? Any chance you will need to work out your conflicts while you have a body, and that death only continues the spirit in a different place? Are you so sure your problems will instantly go away when you die? Is it possible it may be much harder to get it straight without a body? You may feel that without a body, it's "cake" to be happy. You may be very wrong-that without a body your soul alone has to work it out -- like working double time or having a car without wheels or playing a game without the ball. Don't be so sure that heaven is all forgiveness, peace, bliss, and no more conflict. Maybe the beat simply goes on no matter where you are at.

41) What about "The Shalt not Kill" does that apply to you? If he's a God of order, can he free you from an act any more than he could a murderer? Or is there a price to be paid for such violence? If He judges you for all your good, might He also have to judge you for your mistakes?

42) Read the Book Return From Tomorrow by George Ritchie. It's a paperback easy to find. You can read it in a couple of hours. Base your decision to live or to die in part on what you learn.

43) Make a cassette statement where you tell the world what you're feeling, how horrible you feel inside. Tell it all. Swear, get mad, cry, ramble on, but get it out. Then maybe let someone listen to it.

44) You're building walls right now and shutting people out. Let someone in on your secrets, your private thoughts.

45) Write an autobiography of your life. Don't just write the bad crap. Include the family vacations, Christmas, friends, childhood memories, short moments of joy, funny jokes, and fun times.

46) What would you miss if you died? In heaven there ain't no Coca Cola, Big Mac's, faddish clothes, hair salons, TVs, rock music, beds, candy, cars, sporting events.

47) Relationship conflict is inherent in life. If you are going to have any relationships you are sooner or later going to have some conflict. Are you going to kill yourself because someone broke up with you, doesn't like you, or disagrees with you? You will probably barely remember him or her five years from now.

48) If you are threatening suicide to see if someone cares, to keep him or her in a relationship, to avoid punishment, to get attention -- you are manipulating people to feel sorry for you and to be worried. Your tactic may backfire and instead of getting your way you may die or they may only dislike you more. Who wants to live with someone who threatens suicide every time there is a little spat? That’s a drain on a relationship that no one will put up with for very long.

49) "Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." - Helen Keller

50) Just as much as relationships compel us to want to die, a new or renewed relationship compels us to live. The thrill and excitement is out there for you. Go find it! Don't be clingy though. Have comparisons, date, have fun with lots of people and when your confidence returns, you will be ready for a solid relationship.

51) You are of some value to somebody. Someone lives for what you are, what you give them and for what your life means to them. Even when you are being a brat you are still loved.

52) If you act insecure and play silly games in relationships, get your act together so you won't repeat the games in your next relationship. People die often from causes related to loneliness and broken hearts. Don't just blame him or her for your unhappiness. What did you do wrong? Get it together and much of your distress will go away.

53) To ask for help in a difficult situation is not a disgrace, but a sign of inner clarity.

54) People die from one intense experience. Don't allow any one big problem to determine your fate.

55) Of all the dangers in the world, the greatest are the dangers we create for ourselves.

56) What you are feeling is not the love of death, but perhaps the death of love. The first death is permanent, the second death heals.

57) Your pain right now can create a small critical time when change can occur. People begin to talk, problems get resolved, decisions are made. See this time as your opportunity to solve problems.

58) Ask someone you love what they would feel if you died. Ask them to really share their feelings and emotions. Listen for the caring that they have for you.

59) Develop your own "Red Flags" for your moods. Don't expect others to pick up on them for you.

60) Billy Joel made a song called, "Second Wind". He tells us to wait for or get the second wind. Life's "on-hold" for now -- that's all.

61) You don't have to extinguish totally the wish to die, you just have to lobby to swing the vote the other way.

62) "My son or daughter committed suicide." That's what will be told forever.

63) You will never have to be alone again. Making your problems known will create at least one helpful relationship that may last a lifetime.

64) The light on the horizon of the new day is raw opportunity: make something of it.

65) Be curious about life. Stick around to find out what's next.

66) Listen, you are just a teenager. You will do dumb things and have dumb thoughts and that's normal and OK. Adolescence is over in 7 years -- hold on.

67) There's nothing in life that can't be fixed.

68) How do you feel when the sun shines? When that cute boy or girl smiles at you? When you eat your favorite foods? When you get or buy gifts? All of this goes on if you live.

69) Having read this, write down every thought that's in your head as to how you might presently COPE. Review your list often and add to it with every new idea.

70) Last, but not least, what would you say to a friend who confided in you that he or she was thinking about or planning to kill himself or herself soon?


This handout may make you feel angry, guilty, manipulated, or preached at; but the hope is that it stirs up something inside of you -- something that helps you to choose life.