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UNDERSTANDING SAME-GENDER
ATTRACTION
Same-sex
attraction is commonly defined as sexual desires and actions oriented
toward others of the same gender. Experiences among homosexual men and
women range from highly erotic behavior to fantasies to intense feelings
of attraction. It is not a sin to have homosexual feelings. It only
becomes a sin when the individual acts upon those feelings.
Dallin H. Oaks suggested “…we should
distinguish between (1) homosexual (or lesbian) ‘thoughts and feelings’
(which should be resisted and redirected), and (2) ‘homosexual behavior’
(which is a serious sin).”
(“Same-Gender Attraction,”
Ensign, Oct. 1995, 7). The accumulation of research demonstrates
that biology, environment, and early development all play a role in
developing same-sex attraction feelings.
Same gender
attraction is an alterable condition. However, people must desire to move
away from it and receive appropriate help. Same gender attraction has two
aspects: feelings and behaviors. We believe same gender behaviors are out
of harmony with God’s intentions for men and women. Those who wish to stop
their same gender behavior can do so and in time same gender feelings can
be diminished. Neither behaviors nor feelings can be significantly
overcome without God’s help.
Many
including professional mental health workers, do not consider same-sex
attraction to be a problem but feel it is just part of an alternative
living style. As a result, it can be very difficult for individuals with
same-sex attraction to find support in changing.
The
transition from same-sex attraction is difficult because the person is
dealing with complex issues, a determined mind set, and deeply entrenched
behaviors. Related issues are alienation, gender-role problems, abuse
issues, resentment, enmeshment, low self-esteem, guilt, self loathing,
severe depression, addiction, sexually transmitted diseases, marriage,
family difficulties, financial problems, and spiritual and religious
dilemmas. When years of living with these issues become habitual,
individuals see themselves as different, weak, alone, unworthy, weird, and
victimized. Seeing others as rejecting, abusive, misunderstanding,
punishing, and untrustworthy can severely disrupt interpersonal
relationships. Entrenched behaviors involve fantasies, solitary pursuits,
and activities with others that tend to be highly addictive. Sexual abuse
can deeply ingrain patterns of sexual behavior. Individuals engaging in
these behaviors often do not comprehend what they are experiencing. They
find themselves in the grip of powerful sexual addictions that are
particularly difficult to overcome. The pace at which an individual with
same gender desires and behaviors transitions to a heterosexual
orientation varies depending a variety of issues.
Speaking to
men and women Boyd K. Packer said:
You should be attracted to one
another and to marry. Then, and only then, may you worthily respond to the
strong and good and constant desire to express that love through which
children will bless your lives. By commandment of God our Father, that
must happen only between husband and wife--man and woman--committed to one
another in the covenant of marriage.. To do otherwise is forbidden and
will bring sorrow. … Do not experiment; do not let anyone of either gender
touch your body to awaken passions that can flame beyond control. It
begins as an innocent curiosity, Satan influences your thoughts, and it
becomes a pattern, a habit, which may imprison you in an addiction, to the
sorrow and disappointment of those who love you. Pressure is put upon
legislatures to legalize unnatural conduct. They can never make right that
which is forbidden in the laws of God). Sometimes we are asked why we do
not recognize this conduct as a diverse and acceptable lifestyle. This we
cannot do. We did not make the laws; they were made in heaven "before the
foundation of the world". We are servants only.
(Ye Are The Temple of God; Ensign, 2000).
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